• kevinhaynes1

The Lizards Who Breed Contempt, Disgust and Degradation of our democracy in 2020-2021. [satire]

Updated: Dec 17, 2020

[This entry was inspired by Hunter S. Thompson, hence the similarity to those who are familiar. I hope I did a good job, then again if I did it it mean's I'm right, so I hope I suck and and this is just stupid drivel]

[We were somewhere on birchmount, on the edge of ward-22 when the drugs began to take hold]

In my release of the recording I made of the former eye-lidless monitor lizard, who presented himself convincingly as Councillor Jim Karygiannis. He hazed me with some "tough talk" while teaching me the ins and outs on how to be a pretend by-law officer armed with an iphone. He encouraged me to grow my first scale as fast as possible, hopefully on my back, so that I would become spineless like himself. The smartphone is the most feared weapon of our technocracy in 2020 as it can tell no lie. It records what you do, and everyone has one. It's like some weird version of small scale mutually assured destruction. What an odd thing it is to see two people arguing and recording it at the same time. Strange times we live in. During this act of neo-fascist bylaw reptilian enforcement Kaiser Jimmy Jizzle heartily guffawed at the fundamental aspects of Canada that would have had Mackenzie King and Sir John A. MacDonald tear up the constitution and drink themselves close enough to death that Canada would have remained just a dream. I find myself thinking a lot about revered historical figures these days. Does that say more about us, or them? Regardless of my irrelevant pondering of historical alcoholics, there was something ferociously amiss here. Some form of pure evil had emanated from beyond the black jowls that slowly digested a disgusting and chewed on cigar which looked like wet peat moss. There was a great force peril and fear in this car. Something was lurking beyond the lewd remarks and jaw dropping confessions I was recording, there were skeletons in here, possibly real ones.

The average denizen of our neo-liberace or neo-whatever world assumes if you pay the local politician that you'll get away with something or at least buy a blind eye. Here, though, something was more rancid than the usual bile ridden repugnant breath of a municipal politician. It was his demeanor. He enjoyed this sick activity of exerting his power over the people who voted to entrust them in his care. What kind of psychological operation had gone on in this Ward? Surely they must be pumping LSD into the air. He was a sadistic monitor lizard. A truly spectacular specimen amongst the ghouls, demons and bureaucrat cretins in the rotten tar pit known as City Hall, or, as I called it, shitty hell. He had a calm openness of his ability to flaunt his corruption. A confidence that could only be built by crushing the skulls of your opponents in some sort of sacrilegious mating ritual with the regularity that kills all fear. He spoke of some type of insane-twisted commentary about modernity. Canada, a country who fought fascism and earned respect on the international stage by upholding its rule of law and integrity was under siege by the lizards.

Had this man just gone through his entire political career keeping track of his political enemies or opponents to use as a spittoon for his tobacco laden sputum? This bizarre villainy and downright sickening attitude against my preconceived ideals felt like a fever dream. My idea of Canada got bludgeoned to death like a baby seal in his rancid jeep. The stench of old cigars and my crushed soul still haunt me in my sleep making my stomach churn. It is clear to me now, and I suppose it should had been then, that ideological thinking was dead. Things like fairness, justice, integrity and respect, words used in constitutions and debated in philosophical texts to describe ideals and morals were just there for show. Using these words in any modern sense in our society was purely for show. It was like watching a strung out heroin addict do a sudoku, it was just an act and a horrible one at that. It was during this train of thought, and gasps for breathable oxygen (he exhaled his cigar smoke out of his gills) that the second section of our charter of rights and freedoms comes to mind. 2. Everyone has the following fundamental freedoms:

(a) freedom of conscience and religion;

(b) freedom of thought, belief, opinion and expression, including freedom of the press and other media of communication;

(c) freedom of peaceful assembly; and

(d) freedom of association.

We are free, I suppose, to practice religion, the same way you're free to play football in elementary school -no tackle-. But what of freedom thought? It seems common these days that there are thought crimes, and if you were to believe and express some of these things you'll be punished in an intangible way, so is that really freedom? The press and media might as well be the drunken fool that tells a good story every once in a while. They all got absolutely muzzled, the lot of them. Shame. Peaceful assembly is usually only okay if it doesn't upset the food chain too much, otherwise you'll get gassed or shot at. This list it, seems, has been diluted and perverted like some sort of weird guide to freedom that turns into requirements in order to preserve the bottom line. I feel like I'm going insane, but so do a lot of other people as well. I guess in a world full of insanity the ultimate doom is to be sane. After all, if everyone is crazy and you're sane, or everyone sane and you're crazy is there a difference? Who knows. I digress. Back to the meat on the bone here: To quote Thomas Jefferson "We the people" was used as the foundation of America's constitution. Strangely, as starkly different as our constitutions and nations are, we seem to be heading down the same path. I wonder why that is?

Unfortunately it's happening at an alarming rate. Canada is not as respected as it once was, our military strength waned compared to the might of our ancestors. Our global trade is important, but honestly an afterthought for most "serious economic nations". All the while monitor lizards like Kaizer Jizzle Jim Karygiannis sell the right to break the rules that made this nation what it once was. Our democracy, for him, politicians, pundits and candidates like him is a thing that is for sale. It is not an idea, it is a career, a stepping stone a tool to generate wealth using "connections" and positions of power. If one looked at what the top two candidates in the ward 22 by election on Jan 15 2021 had to lose they'd quickly realize that Nick Mantas and Manna Wong have the most on the line, yet simultaneously the least. They learned enough so that the loser (we all know its the constituents who lose here) will end up in the private sector brokering deals with their former opponent. Deranged game this one is. They "climbed the ladder" made the "Right moves" but when did that become a requirement. Does democracy demand meritocracy? Does it not, every now and then, require someone to come in and call bullshit? I did, or tried. I blew the whistle twice. Once on Jim, the other on Sussex Strategy Group. These people sought to actively profit off the process of destroying our very democracy. They wanted the right people in Council for their clients, and they wanted me in city hall to collect favours down the road. They make their money by selling access to government intricacies like some weird techno-paper brothel of gears, paper and printer-ink not to mention the relationships made in it. Do not kid yourself, city hall is a parking lot, queens park is the coat check and parliament is the champagne room. It's disconnected from you and I.

At the time of me writing this City Council in Toronto is debating whether Santa Claus is an essential service and frankly I'm kind of glad these public affairs firms haven't found a way to trademark Santa(probably have), but I can assure you they're trying. If they could, these public affairs firm would find some strange loophole to allow some venture capital company to charge every kid on earth a nickle to believe in Santa. Almost like some sort of communistic-capitalistic hell spawn collection plate in which you pay your tithing to wash away bad behaviour like church except you're rewarded by material goods instead of spiritual redemption. In these political clubs though, much like a country club, you make connections, learn the bureaucratic loopholes and the purposefully complex processes, understand who wields power in name and more importantly in pen. Then you leave. Your value, as a former city employee, as a former public servant, has nothing to do with democracy, its ideals or really helping the public at all. Your value is understanding a bureaucracy you had to be a part of to actually understand because it's more complicated than taking apart a pomegranate in the dark with oven mitts on. Maybe this is why Otto Von Bismarck said "laws are like Sausages, better to not see them made." Jim Karygiannis got "legitimate campaign donations" apparently. Yet, these donations were massive. He didn't care, he knew, he was more than willing to put the meat in the grinder while fighting for the right to do it, others would be repulsed. Democracy was for sale and he was there frothing at the mouth to fight for every cause with two pennies and an idea. He would then go on to brag about this as if it were a feat of respect rather than a disgusting sadistic fetish of selling this nations democracy for personal gain. Though I guess he and his clan must do whatever it is they do in their lizard cave with raw sausage meat and some sort of human sacrifice.

All to keen to follow Jim Jizzle The Kaizer Monitor Lizard No Eyelid Weirdo was Nick Mantas, or Nikolas Mantaray. Who knows, I don't. I do know he's already talking about waterparks and splashpads and negotiations with "stakeholders". This is the transaction, Nick gets the political credit and love from the people, the splashpad stakeholders now have a favour owed by nick in their pocket. Such is the way of life. Sausages get made and this one was a splashpad. Our democracy is for sale. Nick, like his King Jim Sauron, is merely a young lizard, maybe there's hope for him to shed his scales and regain his spine. Crawl out of the cave like Plato's allegory; see the forms and develop a conscience and become a human capable of forethought and empathy. With his new found understanding of the world he could perhaps use that ability to look beyond his own personal gain. Then again maybe Shell will pay me for the gas next time I fill up. Worse, yesterday, I saw something even more alarming. On Manna Wong's website I saw that she had two different versions of herself. The Chinese version and the English one. The Canadian-English speaking one was very progressive, an almost kind of simple creature something of a common gecko, harmless and inoffensive. No real explanation of policy or how she plans to do anything, just a myriad of endorsements from her trustee friends looking to shed their human skin when some crook keels over and a seat opens up. Then the curtain pulled back when I pressed translate on the Chinese version of her site.

The Chinese version shocked me. It was an entirely different Candidate! This cunning lizard had mutated into a chameleon disguised as a gecko capable of looking two directions at once and speaking to two different groups of people, in different languages, simultaneously. Primal fear had taken over me, this type of evolution certainly lead to dinosaurs and pterodactyls. Had I not had the translate app installed on my computer I'd have had no idea, and I'm sure she'd prefer it that way. She comes across as progressive in the English version yet opposes a cannabis retail store because of "friends" in her Chinese version. This wasn't an issue of racism, I mean can these lizards even be considered human? the issue is that there are now two tiers of voters a chameleon with a forked tongue is talking too at the same time saying different things. Darwin would be proud, horrified or both at this evolutionary specimen. She had found a way to appease both her critics and supporters. The sad fact is though she will use this to her advantage and people will have more access to her if you are in her Chinese base, because it's obvious that's whose souls she prefers to consume. The part that really boggles my mind is I can't decide what is worse. Open corruption where everyone knows who the crooks, lizards and demons are, or underhanded chameleon devil tactics pushing agendas. Tactics similar to authoritarian regimes in with double-agents agents you'd see from the Chinese Communist Party, the DPRK, the USSR the CIA or Margaret Thatcher's MI6.

Truly the ideological meaning of a fair and transparent democracy is now gone. This country I grew up in and adored, the one I watched in history class with great ideological leaders like Lester Pearson, William Lyon Mackenzie King and of course John A. MacDonald himself, had evolved, it's blood runs cold and reptiles replaced the respectable. Greed and corruption had taken its heart. The ideals of this nation seem to be about who gets what and for how much, not who needs help and how bad? America, in a similar vein seems to be suffering from the same degradation. On the Statue of Liberty's poem "The New Colossus" the famous saying goes: “Give me your tired, your poor,/ Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free". The irony now is a lot of us are tired, poor and yearning to breathe free. The tragic part is not a lot of us realize how far we've fallen. It seems as though greed and democratic hitmen washed over us like a tsunami and only the lucky few to sit above the high water-mark survived. Our democracy is for sale, piece by piece. Splashpad by splashpad. Every time a new scandal hits parliament or every time a Councillor accepts illegitimate campaign help they are committing treason, but its normalized. They are going against the very integrity of the offices they hold and the ideals that this nation was founded upon. They are creating a new type of state. The fascist economic-technocracy. They are not public servents, they're serving themselves in public. They're serving us a lie while a lucky few get the spoils. When it comes down to it. The rest of us are told to get in line and eat shit. Or as Jim Karygiannis said, "If I feel like it, fuck em!"Truly this lizard is an evolutionary creature beyond his time. He understood that if he could be the most vile possible vulture in politics no one would oppose him and he could get things done, kind of like shitting your pants to get a seat on the bus. I pondered that as he slapped a fly off his eyeball with his tongue to keep it moist and himself nourished. He keenly continued on in hope that he could could find an illegally parked car so he could finish his day feeling satisfied he had met his suffering quota. I went home that night, and could barely sleep. It was at that moment I realize my country was doomed and there wasn't even a fight, nor a whimper just silence. The parasites have taken control, but maybe we have a chance. We better hope so, or soon we'll all be eating meal worms as that's the lizards meal of choice.


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